This is a love story.
I met Steven in 2020 at the beginning of the pandemic and instantly felt a connection. It was a time when our world felt scary, unpredictable, and unknown. Steven had this calm and caring presence and a big heart. He came hoping to connect with his beautiful wife, Debbie, who had passed the year before.
Our first session was full of validation from Debbie – many personal details about her life and family. She was spunky, sweet, loved her family, and loved to cook. She also gave Steven validation she was still with him, watching over him. A week later I received a card in the mail from Steven. He wrote “I know Debbie is here with me. You are a gift from God, and I will thank him in my prayers. I will also pray for you and your family.” I felt grateful for his kindness and connecting the two of them.
Over the next 3 years, Steven and I routinely met so he could connect with Debbie. In the first few months, I didn’t know if I could channel one spirit repeatedly and still get validation. Each time she came without fail. It worked. Our sessions became even stronger. She was wonderful about letting Steven know she was still with him, surprising us with her incredible details about Steven’s current life. She showed him eating stuffed peppers, a meal he confirmed eating the night before. Steven had medical appointments and sometimes she would give the exact date of an upcoming one. She also never missed a birthday. At one of our appointments, she came early wearing a party hat and holding balloons, dancing. When I connected with Steven over Zoom, I asked “Who’s birthday, is it? Debbie is here celebrating!” He laughed, “It’s mine today!” She validated details about her, but more importantly, she helped him live without her. He missed his wife immensely.
Debbie would give advice so Steven could live his best life and he did everything she suggested. From buying more supportive shoes to suggesting items to buy the grandchildren for Christmas, showing him a special meal he loved, specific music to listen to, and suggesting little things he could do to feel better. Steven loved buying her flowers, and Deb suggested he buy fresh flowers, and those could be a beautiful daily reminder of her love for him. From that day, Steven bought flowers weekly. She knew him so well. They loved to travel, and one of my favorite parts was hearing Steven reminisce about their trips to Switzerland, Hong Kong, and Paris. Over the years I heard wonderful stories about their life together. We laughed. He adored his sweetheart.
I always looked forward to our sessions. Steven was a true gentleman and so very kind. He always told me my family came first. When Steven moved from Florida to South Carolina, we met in person for the first time. He bought me lunch and we took a photo. We continued to meet over Zoom after he moved north. Debbie sometimes spoke about them being united again, one day. Even though Steven was receiving treatment for cancer, there was never a date or any foreboding with this message, only love. She would say, “Tell Steven I’ll meet him on the beach with a drink.” He loved this prospect since they loved being at their home on Marco Island. Debbie’s messages always remained within the context of helping Steven live his best life. She would jump right into his plans for his new garden or show hummingbirds she was sending him.
Steven asked me to plan a May 3rd session on Debbie’s birthday. Instead of our usual hour, he asked for 90 minutes to spend extra time with his honey on her birthday. As the date approached, I couldn’t get an answer from Steven to confirm, and I began to worry. Steven’s son Craig texted me to let me know his dad had taken a turn for the worse and was in hospice. I was heartbroken. Steven had cancer for the past 14 years but considered himself very blessed every day.
On Debbie’s birthday, I was in my kitchen and heard the song “Under the Boardwalk” by the Drifters. The lyrics go, “Under the boardwalk, down by the sea, on a blanket with my baby is where I’ll be.” I figured this was Debbie letting me know she would be waiting for Steven on the beach like she always said. Because my heart was heavy, I didn’t see her.
Two days later, I found out Steven passed away peacefully on May 3, Debbie’s actual birthday. As I look back on their love story, the irony of Steven wanting extra time to be with her and the two of them reuniting on this day seemed so fitting.
When I shared the song “Under the Boardwalk,” with Craig, he told me that was one of his dad’s favorite songs. It wasn’t Debbie sending me the song, it was Steven. It was his way of telling me he was reunited with his sweetheart.
I never got the chance to say goodbye to Steven and my heart was heavy. One of his last texts to me reads: “Not sure I have ever properly thanked you for all you do for me or how I could. You are an Angel and I thank you so much!” This is the Steven I got to know over 3 years. I never got the chance to tell him how much his friendship meant to me and how grateful I was to be the space of love between him and Debbie. I know he knows, and one day I’ll be ready to see him.
Edited to add:
I often speak of synchronicities and how they are a beautiful sign our loved ones in spirit are guiding us. Today I got my own. This morning was a busier Sunday than usual. I had a client coming and my daughter's dance recital to prepare for. Steven's blog was just sitting as a Word file on my computer and it didn't feel like the tribute I intended until it was placed here. Something pushed me to get it done. As soon as I finished, I sent the blog to Steven's son Craig. I didn't hear back, and the day's activities kept my mind elsewhere.
This afternoon, as we arrived at our dance recital there were hundreds of people outside. As I walked my daughter up to the drop-off point, I recognized the mom and daughter directly in front of us. "Excuse me, are you Michelle?" She turned around and said "Yes." At the exact same moment, we both realized who the other was. We burst into tears and hugged. Michelle is Craig's wife and Steven's daughter-in-law. I recognized her from the photos Steven shared with me. She told me Steven was supposed to be at this recital. Michelle and Craig had just read my blog before coming. I was overcome with emotion and knew it was Steven who had pushed me to finish this blog and send it to Craig. She walked me over to her car where Craig was. He rolled down his window and once he recognized me, we had a long hug with tears. We laughed and agreed this was a beautiful sign from Steven we all needed. I remember the two of us talking about his little granddaughter, the dancer. Had I arrived a minute later, Michelle and I would not have bumped into each other. It was Steven whom I felt this morning. He was pushing me to get it done. This is Steven to his core - he was all about family, love, and connecting people. Surely, he has the biggest smile on his face watching this all unfold.
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